I Feel Like I'm Grounded

Whenever someone in my challenge group or my life gets injured or sick I will be the first one to turn into MOM and tell them that they need to take it easy and rest and recover before they begin working out again.  But, I find myself being a huge hypocrite when it comes to doing this myself.  I do it everywhere in my life.  I will be the person that still does a show with a 102 fever because I don't want people to be disappointed with  me.  (meanwhile I am infecting everyone).  I am the person that continues to workout even when I am injured or sick.

About a year ago I got the flu and it turned into pneumonia.  I was literally working out for an hour to an hour and a half a day with a fever and coughing so much that I couldn't breathe until God literally had to knock me on my rear end.  I had no clue that I had pneumonia when I was working out but I did know that I felt terrible.  I just knew I didn't want to lose the muscle I had gained or gain weight back because I was sick.  But I got so sick that I was forced to just lay in bed.  That was really silly of me.  I should have been listening to my body because what good is working out and being healthy if you don't take time to rest when your body needs rest?  It is all a part of being healthy.

Well....here I am....in the same predicament.  I have a sprained neck (or whiplash).  What was my first question to the Urgent Care doctor?  "WHEN CAN I WORKOUT AGAIN?"  This time when I said it, I almost felt ashamed of myself.  I KNOW BETTER.  I know that I can workout again when my body is feeling well enough to workout.  My first concern SHOULD have been getting well.  But it wasn't.  I am saying all this because I want you to know that it is still something I struggle with.  It is a part of the eating disorder that ruled my life for 26 years.  It is the fear of gaining weight....getting flabby... not having things in my control...etc.  It is the habit my brain has been in that I am working very hard to re-train.  I KNOW that me taking a break will not make me gain weight or get flabby especially if I keep eating healthy.  I know this.  But, my emotions sometimes take over and I need to remind myself of this daily.

So, the past two days have been difficult for me.  I see all the post workout selfies in my groups and on my news feed.  I get up early with Joey still while he works out to support him and make sure we have our quiet time together and I am JEALOUS!  I want to get moving!  But I cannot.  If I do not let my body heal I will wind up in worse condition than I already am.  If I do not let my body heal what kind of message am I sending to my children?  To my friends and family?  So, God is sending a message to me right now.  This is a period of waiting....and learning....and re-training my thought process.  What goals can I set for myself while I wait?  That way I can feel productive in a different way.  Let me know your suggestions.  I would love to hear them.